


Thalassophobia

by heterophobictjkippen



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Fluff, Gay, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Panic Attacks, Phobias, That's why it's bad, i like making them suffer, thalassophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 22:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14798906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heterophobictjkippen/pseuds/heterophobictjkippen
Summary: There was no reason for Connor not to be excited for his big date with Jared.He was in love with the boy, and every minute they shared made him feel all lovesick, gross, and sappy.There was one thing he couldn't shake, however.//aka matts projecting again





	Thalassophobia

**Author's Note:**

> TW: ocean stuff (if that bothers you) and panic attacks. Nothing too bad

There was no reason for Connor not to be excited for his big date with Jared.

 

He was in love with the boy, and every minute they shared made him feel all lovesick, gross, and sappy.

 

There was one thing he couldn't shake, however.

 

They'd be heading to the beach.

 

One of Connor's biggest fears.

 

He knew it was stupid to be terrified of the fucking water. He wasn't scared of creeks, pools, or that kind of shit. It was the open water, and the thought of what lurked in the depths that horrified him.

 

So there he sat, in his room, trying to find some way to tell Jared so they could go somewhere else on their date. He doubted if he could tell him. He trusted Jared, but it might ruin their date. Or something major.

 

He was shaken out of the panicked daze by a car horn and the buzzing of his phone, detonating that Jared was in the driveway. There was no getting out of this, was there?

 

Connor sighed, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He shoved his phone in his shorts pocket and slowly descended down the stairs, leaving the house and approaching his boyfriend’s car.

 

“Hey, fuckface.” Jared chirped, with a wide grin on his face.

 

“Hey.” He replied, getting in the car. Jared directed him to put his bag in the back, and he did so.

 

“I've been so excited for today. I could barely sleep last night.” The shorter boy told him, and his excitement made Connor feel even worse.

 

He chuckled cynically. “Me neither.”  _ Only because I couldn't shake the feeling of drowning or being stranded in the god damn ocean. _

 

He glanced to Jared, wondering if he could tell him. If he could just fucking tell him, 'hey, I'm terrified of the fucking water, can we do something else?’ 

 

It was too much of a burden. Fucking anxiety would be the death of him. He shifted his eyes to stare out the window, watching the cars pass by as Jared drove. He huffed. They were getting closer to his doom. Fan-fucking-tastic

 

The car ride wasn't silent, however, as the radio was on and both Connor and Jared found themselves singing along to the Rent CD playing. That caused him to smile. 

 

That smile faded once he realized they were there, at the beach. Jesus fuck, he was going to die. 

 

“Let's go!” Jared turned the car off and hopped outside, grabbing his stuff from the backseat. 

 

Connor took a deep breath and followed Jared's actions, closely trailing behind him. Oh no, he could see it.

 

The waves crashing on the sand, the kids playing in the water or running around. He could do this, couldn't he?

 

He watched as Jared quickly stripped himself of his clothes, revealing his pair of swim trunks underneath.

 

“Are you gonna change?” He asked Connor, who had been staring at the water oddly.

 

“Yeah.” He muttered, slowly peeling off his own clothes. He already felt uncomfortable and nervous. Jared began running towards the water, while Connor's pace slowed.

 

His throat began to close off. Dear god, he couldn't fucking breathe. The close he got towards the ocean, the more he felt like the was going to pass out. He was already hyperventilating and heaving heavily, and his limbs were shaking.

 

Jared noticed this from his distance and quickly sprinted back to his boyfriend. “Connor? What's going on?”

 

He simply looked down at the other, eyes widened in terror while he trembled and heaved. 

 

“I'm taking you to the car.” Jared decided, gripping Connor’s cold hand and quickly pulling them to the lot. 

 

His car was hot, and definitely uncomfortable, but they would be alone, and hopefully Connor would calm down. “Breathe for me, please.” He begged, tilting Connor's head to look at him, exaggerating his own breaths, continuing to talk to him calmly and quietly.

 

It took several minutes before he could breathe, but Connor was still sobbing. Jared held him tightly while he let his tears flow.

 

“Jare, I-”

 

“Don't apologize. Are you okay enough to tell me what happened?” He asked gently.

 

Connor nodded, wiping his tears away. “I hate the beach.” He started, laughing pathetically. “I can't handle open waters like that. I was so scared. Do you know how huge the ocean is? And it's so deep. Who knows what could be down there." He shook at the thought. 

It felt childish to be afraid of a fucking body of water.

Jared sighed. “Why didn't you tell me before? I wouldn't have taken you to the beach if you were so scared.”

 

“It wasn't that easy.” He murmured. “I thought I could handle it. I thought being with you would make me feel better and forget it. I thought I would sound like a fucking baby.” He leaned his head back into the crook of Jared's neck. 

 

“But it didn't, Con. Hiding things doesn't make the problem go away.”

 

“I know.” Connor whispered.

 

“Can I go get our stuff? We can change quickly at my house, and then we'll just stay home, watch some lame ass movies, and make out.” Jared offered, which made the other crack a smile. 

 

“Yeah, go ahead.” He allowed, pulling himself out of his arms to sit back in the seat. He watched as closely as he could, fanning himself off from the heat of the car. Where were the keys?

 

He found them in one of the cupholders and laughed to himself at the irresponsibility of his boyfriend. Shifting to sit in the driver's side, he started the car and turned on the AC in an attempt to cool down the car.

 

Jared returned after a minute and set their things in the backseat again. “Ready to go home?” He asked, getting in the driver's side once Connor went back to the passenger's side.

 

“Mhm.” He replied, stretching himself out on his seat. “I'm thirsty. And starving. You better have good chips, Kleinman.” He deadpanned.

 

Jared rolled his eyes and laughed. “My boyfriend is so fucking needy.” He retorted, cracking a smile.

 

“Don't be rude. You weren't being rude eight minutes ago." 

 

“That's because you were  _ crying _ , Con. Now that you're okay, I have free range to make fun of you.” 

 

Connor scoffed and crossed his arms. “You’re lucky I love you, nerd.” 

 

Jared finally pulled up into his driveway and parked. “Lead the way, sweet prince.” 

 

They both got out of the car and headed inside towards Jared's basement. He was happy to discover Jared  _ did _ have good chips.

 

Not to mention he was happy to discover that he was good at kissing too.

 

He had the hickeys to prove it.

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wanna write more stuff with potential fears these kids might have??? I already wrote one with Jared, and now this one exists. I'm planning one with Evan, and I might do Alana and Zoe too. Any suggestions on possible fears? Idk man.


End file.
